For a while, I've been wanting to share my spiritual journey with you, but not sure how. Like anyone's story, it's complicated, detailed, specific, and personal. However, I know that there is power in sharing our stories - for both, tellers and listeners. So, this is me, being vulnerable and brave.....
THIS is the best way that I know how to share my story:
I was born a mermaid.
I swam in an Ocean of Love. It surrounded me, soaked into my skin, filled my lungs. I was in Love and Love was in me.
The nearest sea vessel to me was a beautiful, enormous, ancient ship. Gilded and ornate. In my youth, I swam along side it, coming aboard from time to time. I learned their language and customs. I can still remember the smells and sounds, the beauty of that ship.
A season came when I was carried away from that ship and out to Sea again. I spent several years drifting. Feeling alone and afraid. Unaware of the Love that carried me - protecting and loving me all along.
Eventually, I encountered another sea vessel. An enormous, modern cruising ship. Shiny and new. Bright banners of welcome. Full of energy and music and travelers of all kinds. I boarded this ship with wide eyes, full of wonder.
Hungry for belonging, I eagerly learned and adopted their ways. I exchanged my mermaid tail for legs. I scrubbed the decks. I polished the brass. I welcomed new travelers as they came aboard. Whatever was asked of me, I said yes. Yes yes yes.
The belonging I craved was always just out of reach… but my fear of exile kept me on board the ship for 20 years.
The last few years on that ship were spent at the guardrail - gazing out at the horizon. Sometimes I would secretly slip into the Sea for a moment, but would quickly return to the ship. I heard the message many times: Stay on the ship! The sea is dangerous and full of monsters. Stay with us, stay like us - it is the only way to stay safe.
But the call of the Sea was too great. This ship wasn’t my home. My skin was still salty and my limbs felt heavy. Each step I took on my strange legs grew increasingly painful. The customs, the language, the music - all of it began to feel foreign and uncomfortable. My mermaid-self was waking up and her heart was aching.
The day came when I inhaled a deep breath of courage -held it- then exhaled all of the air from my lungs and dove into the Sea. I immediately felt a wave of relief and rest as my mermaid tail returned and I no longer had to fight gravity to move. I dove to the depths and felt the cool silence in and around my body. I floated on the surface and listened to the waves and birds. At night, the stars twinkled brightly, away from the lights of the ship. The moon sang a silent lullaby. For the first time in so long, I felt the ease of being myself - true belonging! I felt Love embracing me, supporting me.
I had no plan. Perhaps I’d be alone out here forever? Perhaps I’ll encounter other mermaids? Whatever the future held, I felt no fear. The Sea reminded me of Her promise that all shall be well.
(I could faintly hear the cries from the ship: Don’t go! You’ll drown! You’ll be eaten! - but the wind and the seagulls carried the sound peacefully away from me.)
Freely floating in the Sea of Love, I was surprised to spot another ship in the distance. It was different from any other ship I had encountered. Ancient, beautiful, quiet and graceful. My curiosity called me toward it. I kept my distance, and observed. The sounds and smells, the rhythms I witnessed reminded me of the ship of my youth, but much smaller and simpler. For a long time, I circled this ship, unsure of what my attraction to it meant. I never thought I’d board a ship again. But this one feels different. I feel different.
. . .
For almost a year, I have been quietly boarding this ship. There is a peaceful rhythm here. It feels so soothing. I partake in and enjoy their customs. I even lend a hand from time to time.
But, I remain a mermaid and I always return to the Sea at the end of the day - my true home.
Meanwhile, I am noticing more and more mermaid-kindred-spirit friends in the waters around me. We swim and explore the Sea of Love together, laughing and playing, sharing and listening. We are each unique and beautiful - each saturated with Love’s presence.
This story isn’t over. I’m only halfway through my journey - who knows what adventures await me on ..and in.. this Sea of Love. Wherever the Sea takes me, I go freely and bravely - enjoying my True Belonging with the Sea, my Self, and the Kindred Spirits I meet along the way.
Edit: This was originally sent in an email. I was overwhelmed by the response… there are SO MANY mermaids in this Sea of Love. If this story resonates with you, know that we are NOT ALONE! Comment below if you are also a kindred spirit mermaid!